“Please help me Lord, please help me to find a way forward. Lord, I don’t know what to do, help me to find my rest in You. With all that has happened Lord, with all that we have been through, I find a cynicism settling in my heart. It undermines my faith and trust in You. Help me to rise above this failing in my heart, to trust You without limit, to believe 100% in Your goodness to me specifically, rather than being cynical about whether God will be good to me.”
Ever prayed a prayer like that in desperation? When your very soul, your person feels tired and broken? When your flesh and your heart fail? I share these prayers because they were mine in a very dark period.
“I know my heart is wrong Lord, but I find it hard to move past my pain. My fear tells me that none of my prayers have been answered and that I must live in a new reality that I do not believe I can survive in. I fear you will let me down, my heart and my flesh despair, everything I know in my head about You does not align with my feelings, my discouragement, my hurt and my fear. The road is long, the blessings few, the end out of sight, the sacrifice too great. When Lord will I see Your miracle working power, when will things be good again? Help me to move my heart in line with Your word, to manage my fears and pain in light of what You say about my life.”
And then I thought…
“Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and have washed my hands in innocence.
All day long I have been afflicted, and every morning brings new punishments.” (Psalm 73:13-14 MSG)
That is a dark place to be. I so identified with the Psalmist and his assessment of his life and of other people in Psalm 73 verses 4-5 (MSG) “They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong. They are free from common human burdens; they are not plagued by human ills.”
Despair can be a black place where you feel totally alone and your body feels you are dying. Your courage, your hope, your energy fails.
But then there is a shift in the Psalm 73 at the start of verse 23…
Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterwards you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion for ever. (Psalm 73:23-26)
As a believer we have the assurance of God’s continual presence in life (Heb 13:5). It is one of the great benefits of being a believer. God is always with me and you. One merely has to enter into His presence to experience His comfort. This assurance is one of the main reasons I gave my heart to the Lord and the first promise I memorised. God’s presence is guiding us with His counsel and furthermore, he guarantees an eternal destination. Considering that, I agree with the Psalmist when he asks: what has earth got to offer. In another version it says: My flesh and my heart grow weak, but God always protects my heart and gives me stability.
The world we live in is hard and people will disappoint us. Dreams will die and things will happen that are not right. Then in verse 28 he declares: But as for me, God’s presence is all I need. I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter as I declare all the things you have done.
If all else fails, I have Jesus.
It reminded me of a similar passage in Habakkuk. The prophet starts in chapter one asking “How long Lord”, “why Lord” etc. To him things look as if they will continue as they have been, forever. His heart despairs. Then in chapter 3 he says:
“Though the fig tree does not blossom and there is no fruit on the vine, though the yield of the olive fails, and the fields produce no food, though the flock is cut off from the fold and there are no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will (choose to) rejoice in the Lord.
I will (choose to) shout in exaltation in the (victorious) God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength (my source of courage, my invincible army).
He has made my feet (steady and sure) like hinds’ feet.
And makes me walk (forward with spiritual confidence on my high places (of challenge and responsibility). Habakkuk 3:17-19 Amplified.
Habakkuk resolves to delight and triumph in the Lord for he decides that when all is gone, his God is not gone.
When all else fails, we have Jesus.
I heard it once quoted that: “Those who have fully enjoyed God IN all, when emptied and poor in heart and flesh, can enjoy ALL in God.”
One can sit down in the heap of your ashes and even then praise the Lord as the God of your salvation, the one who saves your soul, rejoicing in Jesus for Jesus alone in our greatest distress. Joy in the Lord is appropriate when we meet losses and crosses in the world.
The name of Jesus, when we speak of Him as ours, our shelter, our strength, our source of courage, is the balm for every wound and a hope for every care. He is also our King, and our ultimate destination is to be with Him.
If I have nothing else, I have Jesus.
Lord, help me to delight in Your presence, to rejoice anew in my salvation and to tell my soul that I have Jesus and Jesus is enough. Help me to trust Your heart and your eternal plan, and draw my strength from Your strength. Thank you that a relationship with You is more than anything this world has to offer. Thank you that Your presence with me is the balm to my soul and my guidance in the chaos. Be King of my heart, be my everything.
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