Click on episodes below.

Eleanor Roosevelt

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends leave footprints in your heart.”

Friendships are the best thing about life and true friends the most difficult to attain.  We are not designed to do life on our own, we are designed for relationships.

This series aims to help you:

  1. Structure your friendships by following Jesus’ example
  2. Understand how your personality and character impacts your friendships
  3. Know what to do when friendships end
  4. Understand what happens when you outgrow friendships
  5. Three strategies to build good friendships
  6. Know how to communicate affection in a relationship
  7. How to deal with conflict in a friendship (Release in August)
  8. How to respond when confronted in friendship (Release in September)

As the series develops more episodes will be added in the future.  Be sure to check in again for more.

What to do?

Watch the video and consider all the concepts.  Work through the questions included in the video, as well as the additional questions provided in each section.

You Tube Series on Friendship:

Building Biblical Friendships Part 1: How to Structure Your Friendships

This episode explores the value of friendship and why it is not just networking or connecting.  We examine Jesus’ example in the structure of His friendships and how group dynamics have an effect on friendships.  The episode also includes questions to help you evaluate your current circle of friends and identify weaknesses and strengths in your friendship circle.

Questions to consider:

  1. What are the strengths in your friendship circle based on your analysis?
  2. What are the weaknesses?
  3. Which areas of your friendship circles do you need to work on?
  4. Make a list of 5 action points which you can take right now to improve the structure of your friendships.

Building Biblical Based Friendship Part 2: How Character and Personality Effect Friendships

This episode explores the impact of our personality and character on friendships.  It helps to understand what kind of friends you have chosen and how you are relating to your friends.    It gives you tools to explain why some friendships work better than others, as well as identifying what kind of friends you should be looking for.  Most importantly, this episode reminds us why God is our best friend.

Questions to consider:

  1. The episode describes 3 types of friends, friends who…
    1. Love you for who you are
    2. Love who you will be
    3. Love what you bring to the relationship

Can you identify these friends in your friendship circle?

2. Have you expected friends to meet everyone one of your needs, or do you need to make more friends that meet some of your unfulfilled needs?

3. Meditate on your friendship with God and His ability to meet all your needs.

Building Biblical Based Friendship Part 3: What to do when Friendships End

This episode explores the feelings and confusion we experience when friendships end. The end can be a really difficult time, we question ourselves, have a sense of being lost and process our fear of rejection and isolation.

We explore what to do when:

  • People seem to be avoiding you, or seem to dislike you
  • When people move on, either physically or emotionally

The goal is to develop strategies that process our emotions, give us tools to cope with the changes, as well as change our thinking and attitudes to friendship changes.

Questions to consider:

  1. The episode describes the concept of Porcupine Factor…
    1. Can you identify this phenomenon in friendships in the past
    2. How did you respond and how did your friend respond?
    3. What would you do differently next time?
  2. Do you have an “open hand” in your friendships?
  3. Do you see people playing a role in the story of your life?

Building Biblical Based Friendship Part 4: What to do when you Outgrow Friendships

Friendships are continually changing and where we once fit in, we may feel that we don’t belong to our circle anymore.  We feel uncomfortable, or frustrated and have a sense of wanting change.  Perhaps we have outgrown a friendship which can happen when we have had a season of personal growth, or have a new direction in life.  This episode explores the feelings and confusion we experience when we outgrow friendships. It also explores strategies and thinking to embrace during this period.

Questions to consider:

  1. Have you had a period of growth that has had an impact on your friendships?
  2. Growth can come from a new interest, new thinking, taking a new direction in life.  It can also come after a period of personal growth, especially after a difficult experience or trial.  Growth can also come from learning a new skill, which opens up new possibilities.  Even a personal “a-ha” moment can bring about change in how you approach life.

Look back over your life and the friendships you have, or had and identify how personal growth may have impacted those relationships.

Building Biblical Based Friendship Part 5: Attitudes that Cultivate Friends

This episode explores three attitudes that contribute to cultivating friendships and the mistakes that we make in each area.

Questions to consider:

  1. Consider the statement: A lonely person places little emphasis on close relationships.  Would you consider this statement true or false as you examine people and their relationships around you?
  2. What is the difference between socializing and cultivating deep relationships?
  3. Are you using your time well?  Are you aware of moments, fully present and awake so that the moments can define a friendship? Do you miss important events and occasions, cancel at the last minute, or fail to commit till the last minute, use your phone in company, fall asleep in company etc.
  4. How would you describe yourself when you are real?  Use these words to stimulate your thinking on being Real: image free, genuine, no pretense, now walls, no fences, no masks, lack of facade, open, humble

Building Biblical Based Friendship Part 6: How To Communicate Affection in Friendships

We are slow to declare our love for the people we care for, if at all!

We explore why it is good to communicate affection to our friends and explore some rules in how to say “I love you.”

Questions to consider:

  1. What fear nestles in your heart when it comes to telling people how important they are to you, or declaring your affection?
  2. Would you agree with the statement: “If you want to be loved, love.”  Why or why not?
  3. Are you guilty of the three mistakes made in declaring affection?  You may not be guilty all the time, but do you make use of these strategies to address the fears in your heart.
  4. Brainstorm ways and ideas in which you can declare your love and affection to friends.  Make an action list of at least 3 items to get you started.

Building Biblical Based Friendship Part 7: How To Deal with Conflict in Friendship

When dealing with conflict in a friendship, our ultimate goal is to preserve the friendship!

Conflict allows strong emotions to fester and be ignored, which when allowed breaks down a friendship.  They invite in relationship breakers like anger, revenge, slander and malice.  Conflict needs to be dealt with in a healthy manner.  Here we explore strategies for managing conflict in a friendship.

Questions to consider:

Building Biblical Based Friendship Part 8: How To Respond when You are Confronted in a Friendship

That dreaded statement: “We need to talk,” does not have to fill you with fear, there are ways to manage confrontation.

This episode seeks to give you strategies when you find yourself confronted by a friend.  The goal is to prioritise resolving the conflict so that the friendship in both hearts is enhanced and strengthened.

Questions to consider: