I Don’t Understand God?
I am sure that just like me, there has been a moment in your life where you have said those words. Perhaps a loved one died, or a business failed, or a teenager lost their way, or a marriage crumbled. There are definitely times in my life when I do not understand our Lord and during these times I identify with how Mary and Martha must have felt when Jesus took so long in coming to them. Lazarus had died and had been dead four days before Jesus arrived. They both did not understand His behavior and said to Jesus:
“Lord if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (John 11:21;32)
Where were You Lord?
Mary and Martha wondered if Jesus really did love Lazarus, or really loved them for that matter. They wondered why He had taken so long and perhaps allowed such sorrow and suffering to take place.
Abraham must have also said to himself “I do not understand,” when the Lord asked him to sacrifice Isaac, his only son. Moses must have wondered about it too, spending forty years in the wilderness before God called him to free the slaves in Egypt. Joseph must have said “I do not understand,” many times when he was betrayed by his brothers; sold into slavery; framed by Potiphar’s wife; unjustly thrown into prison; and then forgotten in prison. Even his father Jacob, must have cried “I do not understand” when he lost his favorite son.
I do not understand all of the ways in which God deals with us
I think all of us don’t. When life and circumstances do not turn out the way we wanted it to, and when disappointment and loss hits hard, then we question His motives, timing and purpose in it all. But I also know from scripture that He wants me to trust Him. (Prov 3:5-6) I can understand it in a way. I could see it with my own children, that I have this deep desire for them to trust me. I want them to trust that I know what is best for them, that my rules are there to protect them and that my discipline is there to help them. I want them to trust my heart and that my motivation is love, that I see the bigger picture and want what is best for them.
I think God wants the same from His children: to trust Him.
In fact when Jesus speaks to Mary and Martha, He says to them in essence: “I know you don’t understand, but I am telling you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God.” (John 11:40)
All the saints mentioned above did eventually see the glory of God, God has purpose and plans in His work and the timing of it. Abraham was tested, Moses was prepared, Joseph was positioned and Jacob was provided for. We too, according to the promises of God in scripture, will eventually see the glory of God in the things we do not understand right now. Then in the light of God’s glory we may begin to understand His ways.
It’s just that right now, not all is revealed to us and what remains is to trust.
We only need to trust in WHO He is and the promises He has made. What I am realising with age is that there may be delays, there may be sorrow, suffering and there may be days that I really question God’s love for me, but all of this life experience will eventually reveal the glory of God and His heart for me.
If you believe, you will see the glory of God.
Phil 4:19 “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”
Help me Father to trust Your heart, even when things don’t make sense. Help me to trust that You have the bigger picture in hand and that You are in control and that all things will work out because You love me. Help me to live the life You have designed for me. Help me to keep my eyes of faith focused on You and not on my circumstances. Help me to keep believing, knowing that eventually I will see the glory of God revealed. Even though I do not understand, help me to wait on your timing in all things. All will be revealed in time, even Your heart.
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