Timothy was expelled from playschool at age three. He was just too busy for them. He was a disruption in class and the final straw was when he ran down a slide and endangered himself and others. It was true that he was busy, probably hyperactive and sometimes I wondered how I would get him to eighteen – still alive! Adrian used to say that he only had two gears: nought and four. He was either asleep, or moving!
At that time, I felt like a total failure as a Mom. Despite all my efforts to bring up a good little boy, he was not good enough for that playschool. I despaired even being able to control my busy little boy in a new school environment.
I poured out my heart to my friends that afternoon, but no-one had answers for me. In fact they all seemed relieved that they were not the mother to my little boy. As I looked at their children, they were angels in comparison. They would listen to their mothers, sit still when needed and say please and thank you without being prompted.
Somehow, despite my best efforts, I was not getting it right!
As I ran into the presence of the Lord, I argued that He must have made a mistake appointing me as Timothy’s mother. I was failing on every side and other mothers seemed much more equipped, if one had to judge by the behaviour of their children. Even my own mother would remark at how busy Timothy was and no matter where we went I would have to watch and manage Timothy while other mothers sat down and had a cup of tea. God had definitely made a mistake in giving him to me.
I went through every good mother I knew and every one of them just would not do, 100%. They all seemed to fall short of understanding Timothy like I understood him. “See,” said the Lord, “I already chose the best mother for the job.”
Suddenly I understood: God had appointed me to the job of Tim’s mother. With all the good mothers out there, He, in His wisdom had decided that I would be the best one. He specifically chose this time and this family for Timothy (Acts 17:26 “…he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should love.”)
So what qualified me to be Tim’s mother? God Himself qualified me.
I was appointed by God to be Tim’s Mom and God would qualify and equip me for the job.
I was not a failure and God would help me to raise this challenging child. Today Timothy is seventeen, going into his Matric year. Now looking back I can see that it is indeed God’s wisdom that I was Tim’s Mom and that I was the best qualified Mom with God’s help and guidance. I still need help each day, but I can praise the Lord for what He has done in our lives, for His wisdom and His care.
To all the Mom’s out there that have challenging children, children with special needs and children that make you feel like a failure, I share this story because I want you to know that you are a God-appointed mother to that child and that God Himself, will help you do it well. He wants you to succeed.
Father, thank you for the blessing of being appointed to being the mother of my children. Thank you for choosing me in Your wisdom. Thank you that I may rest in You, knowing that you will give me wisdom, understanding, knowledge and clarity on how to do it well. Thank you that it is YOU that qualifies me for motherhood.