I remember at the age of 12 being in a school play, singing from Annie Get Your Gun: “There is no business, like show business…” wearing fish net stockings, a long tailed black jacket and six-inch heels! To this day, I still don’t know how I ever walked in them, let alone do can-can kicks center stage! I remember practicing for days before, dreading that I was going to fall flat on my face or bum. The actual show nights are a blank in my memory, all I remember is… those heels!
When it comes to confidence, walking on high heels is what life is like for most of us. We are always dreading the moment we are going to fall flat on our face or bum. Dreading the moment, we trip, fall, fail, make a mistake, get laughed at, rejected and the list goes on. Oh, to be always confident in all you do, every step you take, every move you make…. No matter who is watching.
So how does one develop an assured confidence in all you do, an ability to move out, do things and be confident in all you do, are and say? I will share four secrets to confidence I have learnt, two in this post, and two in a later post.
Keep your conscience clear.
Make wise and prayerful decisions that do not violate your conscience. Paul says in Acts 24:16 ”So I always strive to keep my conscience clear before God and men.” Job also followed this principle of a clear conscience in Job 27:6 “I will maintain my righteousness and never let go of it, my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live.” Deacons were required to live by a clear conscience in 1 Tim 3:9 and so it is clear that going against your conscience, means you know deep inside it is wrong.
I have realized that when I have taken the time to pray, seek wisdom in scripture and ensure that I know what God’s will for me is, I find within myself a greater confidence. Just like a child that goes out more confidently when they know Mom or Dad is watching over them, is nearby and approves of what they are doing, I am more confident in all I do and am, if I have consulted with my Father.
There is no safer place that in being in the will of the Father!
Keep Short Accounts.
When it comes to confidence, that elephant is usually sin, nothing blows your confidence like knowing that there is something that has not been dealt with between you and God, or you and another person.
David in Ps 139, after considering all that God knows about Him (verse 1-6); His amazing presence (verse 7-12); the wonder of his own creation and God’s thoughts of Him (verse 13-18); begs the Lord to please search his heart and thoughts, to test him, to do open heart surgery on him and determine if there be any sin, any offensive thing that may cause a hindrance to their relationship. So precious was this relationship he had with God that he wanted nothing to hamper it in any way.
So too, Jesus teaches in Matt 5:23-24, that we are to reconcile with others before we come offering gifts at the altar, because broken relationships with others can hinder our relationship with the Lord. We are hypocrites when we claim to love God, but hate others, see 1 John 4:20-21.
Further to that, our own forgiveness is wrapped up in our forgiveness of others, which Jesus makes very clear after teaching the Lord’s prayer, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matt 6:14-15. Why? Because failing to forgive others, is denying our common ground as sinners in need of God’s forgiveness. Rom 3:23 says that we “have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
If our relationship with the Lord is what we base our confidence on, then we, my dearest friend, cannot afford anything to stand between us and the Lord. I John 1:9 says that “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Heb 12:1-2 reminds us to “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles” and then to “fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.”
Back to those six-inch heels, ever tried walking in them? It takes practice and the longer you practice, the easier it becomes. Well for some of us! Walking in confidence takes practice, we all want to strut our stuff, but these biblical principles determine the level of confidence we will feel.
Thank You Father, that my confidence starts with You, being in a relationship with You and that You have made that possible by providing for my sin in Jesus. Help me Lord to keep a clear conscience before You, to confess sin and not attempt to hide things from You when You know everything. Help me to walk right before You, in righteousness. Help me to keep short accounts with You and with the people in my life, being quick to forgive and seek reconciliation.