The woman who has what your heart desires, she is your ‘She-Woman.’ We all have one, maybe two! Perhaps you are one to someone else? Rachel was a ‘She-Woman to Leah who had the love of Jacob and Leah was a ‘She-Woman’ to Rachel because she had the sons that Rachel desired. Seems we woman are generally dissatisfied with what we got.
There was a season of my life that I did not know who I was anymore. I was working so hard at trying to be like everybody else, copying my ‘She Woman,’ trying to be who they wanted me to be, I didn’t know which way to turn anymore.
I have already shared how God spoke to me through the song “True Colours” by Phil Collins, the words go..
I see your true colours shining through
I see your true colours and that’s why I love you,
So don’t be afraid to let them show,
Your true colours, true colours are beautiful…
…like a rainbow.
God designed me in a particular way. I had my own rainbow of colours that He had given me. He called me to shine my true colours to the world (not the shades and hues of others) because my colours were beautiful. That was what He loved about me, so I was to stay true to how He designed me.
But in order to stay true, I had to stop a problematic habit: that of making comparisons. I had to stop comparing myself to other people. I could no longer look at others who were getting it right, who showed qualities that I admired and evaluating myself against them. I could no longer copy them, desperately trying to be like them. I had to make peace with who I was and work with the Lord at becoming what He wanted me to be. I had to learn to be content with myself first.
“Godliness with contentment, is great gain.” 1 Tim 6:6
Comparing myself to others only had the following results:
- I felt inadequate: ‘She-woman’ got (put whatever it is in there) right and I did not. Neither was I getting it right trying to copy whatever it was that “She-woman” was doing. Feeling inadequate lay the foundation to doubting myself and others, hope failed and I would wonder if God had a purpose for me at all.
- It made me question God’s justice—“It is not fair! Why does she get to have… and not me? You don’t love me. You have favorites. I did more, I loved you more and now she’s getting it all!”
- It gave me an excuse not to be so devoted to Christ. I was not good enough to get it right, and life did not seem to be fair. So I excused that I didn’t have to live up to the potential God saw in me because I did not meet the grade.
- I made me compete rather than compliment what was going on in the church, especially where ‘She-woman’ was involved. I felt better about myself and my performance when I was ‘winning’ the competition and in the process sacrificing unity in what we were trying to work towards.
- Comparing built anxiety, awakening fear in me. I asked “what if” questions and sigh “If only.” It stole my peace—stole my self-confidence—stole my sense of purpose.
- When I compared I lost focus, “what was the point?” I lost momentum, “Why carry on?” and it was easier just to give up.
- I complained about the injustice of it all, I complained about my life and forgot to count my blessings. I lost a thankful spirit for everything that God had given me and labeled it as “not good enough” because ‘She-woman’ had better.
God has no favourites (Acts 10:34.) He does not compare. We are the ones who compare the children; we are like the workers in Matt 20:1-16, who were paid equally for a day’s work, but felt angered when the late comers got the same pay. We get jealous of what God has given to another person, forgetting that it is His prerogative to exercise generous grace as He wishes. I needed to focus on the colours God had given me, my gifts and talents and be thankful for them, learning to be content the way I am.
I don’t always get it right and even people who should know better make the mistake. Peter compared himself to John. In John 21, Jesus restores Peter to a relationship with Him, telling him three times to “Feed my sheep.” In verse 18, He tells Peter what his future holds and how he is going to die, asking Peter to follow Him no matter what the future holds. Just at that moment, Peter turns and sees John, described as “the disciple who Jesus loved, who leaned his head back against Jesus at the supper and had said, ‘Lord, who is going to betray you?’”
Peter in that moment of declaring his love to Jesus, compares himself to John. He compares his own devotion to Christ in comparison to John, which of course didn’t look too great at that moment and questioning justice, he asks; “Lord, what about him?”
Jesus response is: “What is that to you, follow me.”
- Do you compare your life to others?
- Do you have a ‘She-woman’ in your life?
Let us be true to God and true to how He designed us, declaring with Him that our “true colours are beautiful.” Let us learn to be content with who we are.
Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you’ll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you’re content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty. Matt 23:10-12 MSG