Hello God, I’m Still Single

We all struggle to accept our current life circumstances and what we are dealt with and at a recent Cedars meeting, I asked Betty to share about “being a good steward of what God has given you” and the following was her story.  So many of the women identified with her testimony that I asked her to share it with you.  If this really speaks to your heart, please leave a comment to convince Betty that so many of us identify with her journey.  Love Michelle

I am one of three sisters who happen to be very close, so you can imagine my delight when on the 12th of January 2013, my younger sister, Rachel got married; and on the 18th of April 2013, my older sister, Marthe also got married. Last year when both my sisters brought home their soon-to-be husbands in quick succession, I proceeded to have the following conversation with the LORD:

Betty: “uhhh…hello God!? Umm…what just happened there because I thought I was also standing in the same ‘I want a man and be married queue too’ like them. So…how come they got a gift and I didn’t? I thought you didn’t have favourites?”

God: “I don’t have favourites. Oh, and by the way, I did give you a gift too.”

Betty: “Oh! Well, where is he because I don’t see anyone?”

God: “I didn’t say I gave you a man, I said I also gave you a gift. Singleness.”

(Long dramatic pause)

Betty: “WHAT SORT OF A GIFT IS THAT!!!?”

God: “A good one.”

Betty: “umm…so perhaps on planet Mercury where there is no possible life form, maybe it’s a good gift. But here on earth, THAT SUCKS!!! Is that the best You could do!!!?”

God: “Betty…?”

Betty: “What…?”

God: “Do you believe I’m good?”

Betty: “Yes.”

God: “Do you believe that I do good, desire good, and only give good things to my children?”

Betty: “Of course!”

God: “So then…”

At this point, the Spirit of God led me to 1 Corinthians 7; this is a passage where the apostle Paul talks about marriage. However, in verses 6 and 7 he says this about being single:

But I say this as a concession, not as a command. I would like everyone to be like me. However, each person has a special gift from God, one this and another that.”

 God also reminded me that no good earthly father though there is evil in his heart gives his child a stone when the child asks for bread, or a snake when he asks for fish (Matt 7:11); and that ultimately every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of change.” (James 1:17)

So, if being single was a gift, I started to think on the concept of gifts and came to the following conclusions:

  1. Most of the times when we are given gifts, they are usually from someone we generally know very well; it’s seldom and very rare that we are given a gift from a complete stranger.
  2. There is generally and hopefully some thought given to the gift by the giver.
  3. A thoughtful gift is usually something that we have expressed a need for in some way or in most cases something that the giver knows we would appreciate.
  4. A gift will usually come with some form of how-to-use or how-to-care-for instructions.

As I began to think along these lines and meditated on the verses above; I came to the realisation that where I was presently in my life, which included my current marital status, was exactly where my Heavenly Father wanted me to be. I was indeed in the best possible place I could ever hope to be. You see, God knows me better than anybody else, He even knows me better than I know myself. So if He, who knows everything, sees everything, can do anything, and is ultimately, wholly, good and pure; He deems that being single is the best thing for me right now; and based on His never-changing character I trust and believe Him.

im_single_and_i_love_it_postcardThis realisation has freed me from the frustration and burden of waiting for “the one” and liberated me to enjoy the beautiful, well-timed, and best possible gift God has given me in the present. It has also freed me to enjoy the gift that is to be found in pure relationships with others, including non romantic relationships with men. I’ve stopped viewing men as just mere potential future partners, but rather as people that God has placed on my path not by accident or coincidence, but to enjoy godly fellowship with one another, having no hidden agendas or ulterior motives.

Fellowship with these men has not only enriched my life greatly, but has also brought so much joy and healing to my life. Enrichment, joy, healing, and so much more are the products of my embracing the gift of singleness and using this gift the way God would have intended for me to use it.

After all, a good gift is meant to be enjoyed and can only be enjoyed, not endured.

Don’t get me wrong, do I still have the desire to get married someday? Absolutely! The desire for the gift of marriage whilst still there and very real has now just been eclipsed by an even greater and deeper desire: the desire for God Himself. To know Him intimately and to be known by Him intimately.

If you enjoyed this post, also read:

Single with a Slice of Cake

Piano Keys

By | 2017-09-12T19:22:25+00:00 July 18th, 2013|

About the Author:

Michelle du Toit lives in Johannesburg, South Africa. She is married to Adrian, with two children. She is passionate about God and influencing people. She shares her own personal treasures from the bible for encouragement to others.

9 Comments

  1. Bongiwe Hobololo August 31, 2014 at 2:55 pm - Reply

    Yeah singleness is a gift but as singles we rarely view it as such

  2. Teri Mckinney August 25, 2013 at 6:09 pm - Reply

    Michelle:”So, if being single was a gift, I started to think on the concept of gifts and came to the following conclusions:
    Most of the times when we are given gifts, they are usually from someone we generally know very well; it’s seldom and very rare that we are given a gift from a complete stranger.”

    Teresa: BUT YOU JUST DID! You were inspired to post the conversation with God for me to read TODAY and I thank you.

  3. mpume August 1, 2013 at 9:08 pm - Reply

    Wow I have always thought I live in my own world lol. Its nice to know that there are people that I can relate with in my world. I recently became Single. I finally realize that I am a Beautiful young woman. I Choose to see my self as a rare Gods Flower. All I have to do is stay beautiful and be happy in His Presence, that is my Gift from Him.I don’t remember being happy because of a man’s love.If I was, it was always short lived. It has been hard but I know that the happiness that He gives Me is Endless.

  4. sharon mahlodi July 30, 2013 at 5:40 pm - Reply

    Thank you for such an inspiring story and I guess I was always asking God the same question of Why dont I find the one I can spend my life with, ’cause I have so much love to give and mostly the men I date end up having extra marital affairs. While on the other being honest but at this moment I just want to take some time off the dating side and just connect a little bit more on my God. And concentrate as well as giving this love I have for my son….Amen

    • Michelle August 1, 2013 at 11:00 am - Reply

      Dear Sharon, I think it is good to take a break from romantic relationships in order to find healing for yourself. Very often, while we are in relationships we cannot see our own inability to make the relationship work because of the choices we make and our own brokenness. Taking a break means you can spend time with the only One who can love you like no man ever could. Our Lord will heal you and put you together into wholeness if you would only stay in His Presence. You are making a wise choice, I myself took a two year break from dating in order to come closer to the Lord and find healing. At the end of that time, I was ready for a healthy relationship with a man, because I was whole. Love to you. Michelle

  5. Ankia July 19, 2013 at 10:01 am - Reply

    Dearest Betty,
    Thank you for sharing such a powerful testimony. I am not single but I know the power and absolute freedom of God’s grace that comes when we accept His will for us and we choose to deny our own desires.

    You are truly a very brave young woman to have made the decision to deny your heart’s cry and choose to believe God’s love will be sufficient and His gift better.

    I pray that God will add his blood and fire to this testimony so that many girls, young and old, will choose to wait on God rather than throw their pearls to the undeserving.

    Walk tall in his love and be blessed my friend.

    Love
    Ankia

  6. Marthe July 19, 2013 at 8:58 am - Reply

    PREACH IT SISTER! Preach it loud! Embracing and appreciating one gift makes the next one even sweeter because you have grown to understand the heart of Who it comes from.

  7. Nthabiseng July 18, 2013 at 5:55 pm - Reply

    I am so encouraged! I’m SINGLE and I love it! 😀

  8. Zeldene Simon July 18, 2013 at 3:35 pm - Reply

    Dear Betty
    I remember your story from the cedars evening, and all i can do is smile…..smile because i remember how much of your personality you put into it. You are a vibrant bubbly always happy and smiling young lady…..even when presented with a very deep sometimes hurtfull problem. You inspire me to always be happy no matter what and above all else to seek God. Unlike you I am married but this blessing has brought at times allot of pain and confusion, and i was left more often than not looking up and asking why me why always me Lord. But during my troublesome times I never lost sight of God and what i believed His plan for not just me but my kids and yes even this “pain” in my life was. And that faithfull Friday just as He always does I got the answer to a question I didnt even know I had. And from a person i never dreamed. You see when you Bubbly Betty shared your story so deep i realised….we dont always get what WE want because we are not incharge, but we get given His gift, and to me was given grace and i had to hear your story to open my eyes and heart to this.
    So thank you Betty.
    And one day your prince charming will be waiting hopefully as full of love and smiles as you are.

Leave A Comment

SIGN UP

Simply enter your email address to subscribe to my blog and receive weekly treasures from my heart.

Save

Save

FIND ME ON PINTEREST